Randoms: Friendship.

I'm talking about accountability as a crucial pillar in friendships.

I was speaking to my best friend this morning. We were talking about the rainfall overnight, and how’s she’s preparing for the upcoming tests. She’s one of the few people who serve as an accountability partner despite being on different levels.

Then it dawned on me, the reason why I let go of some friendships from my first year in school was the lack of accountability on my former friends’ part. In one of my previous writings, I have said that friends should share mutuality, and I believe they should be positive accountability partners too.

Accountability in this scenario is you making sure ( at the very least ) that the person you call your friend is comfortable and isn’t going through any visible difficulty. In my set ( 2018/2019 session ), there’s a group of academic scholars with GPAs 5.00, 4.98, 4.97. When I asked them the secret to their academic success after the end of the session, they told me they held each other accountable and made sure each of them excellently well in school.

Interestingly, I’m someone who cares and tries to make sure my ‘friends’ are doing their very best and pushing them to do their best. Unfortunately, these people do not regard me as someone who should be checked upon. Yes, I agree; no one is responsible for checking up and making sure I attain what I’m in the university for, but doesn't this defeat the purpose of ‘friendship’? It does. That’s why I end them, too.

Ending them might seem harsh, but I see no plausible reason why I should keep such persons around me who play the bird box card when I make my discomfort and difficulties known. I find disgusting the hypocrisy after tests or exams: how was x, how was y - you might as well mock me, my dear. Before you make assumptions, I do not hide my discomfort and try to seek help from friends who have superior knowledge to me at that time.

Here’s a very, very interesting scene I remember ( I have the gift of excellent memory, I don’t forget events except I wish to ): I had complained to a friend who I later learned got an A in the course that I had difficulties understanding some topics in a course. His responses were:

• “What is there that you don’t know.”

• “This simple thing, stop joking.”

• “I’ll explain it to you at a later date.”

I kid you not, I outsourced my learning to other people which I should’ve done before, yet I didn’t because I had a more intelligent ( in that field ) person in my ‘supposed friendship circle’.

I was quite foolish I believe, I thank God for Allah’s mercies in opening my eyes. The summary is I didn’t fail the course, Alhamdulillah.

I love the fact that he makes time to teach the ladies. Afterall, *NGF?

The Point Is

I see no reason why one is your friend, and you can’t be each other’s accountability partner positively. I won’t be surprised if this is the major case as most people do not even understand the concept of friendship. It took me a while to validate my theory and understanding of what friendship means, and I’m glad it’s valid.

At the moment, I only have one friend who I keep. He’s my accountability partner, an excellent guy tbh. Oh, he’s my doppelganger.

Your Thoughts.

One of the thoughts I believe you might have is why I have to only depend on a friend and not ask other people to teach me? I resorted to this, but at that point, it was pretty much late.

Currently, I have made good acquaintances with the various scholars with GPAs ranging from 5.00 to 4.95 to explain courses I find tough. This has been going great since I started, and I believe will positively impact my results, haha.

I find amusing the humility of these scholars, made time, and made sure I understood whatever they taught me. May Allah keep them in comfort always.

In Summary,

You have no business being friends with people who turn a blind eye to your visible difficulties. If you’re the one who turns a blind eye, fix up; that’s a stinky behavior.